3 or 4 days to go

We’re in the midst of the dreaded 2-week wait. We’ll be doing a pregnancy test on either Wednesday or Thursday this week. I need to call the clinic to check which day will be best.

I’ve been asked if I’m at all tempted to do it early? Absolutely not. I don’t want to know the answer. At least, part of me doesn’t. While we are waiting, like Schrodinger’s cat, the embryo is both alive and dead, hope and failure. Either is possible. And after the last 2.5 years, I want to see as few “not pregnant” test results as possible. Taking the test early risks a false negative that would just cause pain and anxiety and would only need repeating at the right time anyway.

So no, I’m not tempted to take one early.

I’ve been feeling very tired, and have had a few twinges and pangs that have made me think I might be pregnant. Including headaches. But I have to keep reminding myself that with all the hormones I’m taking to mimic optimal pregnancy conditions, my body basically “thinks” it’s pregnant, so this isn’t surprising. But hope creeps in nonetheless. As much as I try to stop it.

Because hope is scary. It risks painful disappointment.

Please keep an eye on here this next week, rather than messaging me individually to see what the test result is. So many of you care so much and we feel so very well supported. And one of the benefits of this blog is the ability to keep you all informed in the easiest way. Repeating bad news is not a nice experience, as I’m sure you can appreciate.

Thank you!

About The Author

No Comments