Q&A

I've been thinking a lot about the questions I often get asked regarding fertility treatment. More specifically, about how I'm asked them - which is usually with a vast, Amazon-style overpackaging of politeness, delicacy and apologies. People have questions. Of course ...

The Familiarity Of Grief

In my experience, when you've suffered the pain of multiple losses, you get used to it. What I'm not sure is - does this mean you're broken? Beyond repair? Or does it just mean that you now know, in a very real ...

Hello, It’s Been a While

Gosh, I feel nervous writing this. That hasn't happened before. Sorry it's been so long. I have been meaning to get in touch before now, but every time I've thought about, I just haven't had the energy and wasn't sure ...

Christmas Greetings with a difference

I want to wish a lovely Christmas to all who have read this blog this year and continue to follow and support us in this journey. I have heard from many of you (and I love hearing from you) for whom ...

Aftermath

I actually thought my previous post would be my last word on our blog before Christmas. But this cycle did not end when I got confirmation of the miscarriage on Monday, and I wanted to talk about this a bit. Because ...

Miscarriage Confirmed

After another marathon bladder achievement (10 hrs, my own PB), this morning we got the result "pregnant 1-2 weeks". And while this is suggestive of the hormones slowly seeping out of my system, it was still positive. And so to ...

This is just getting ridiculous

I retook a pregnancy test today, hoping to see "not pregnant" so I could stop taking the drugs and let my body finish what it began on Sunday. And drink wine tonight. I've been in a lot of pain and lost a ...

A Man’s Guide To Miscarriage

Before I start, I want to acknowledge an assumption/bias that I'm not going to try to avoid when writing about something so personal. This is going to be extremely heteronormative, because while I abundantly understand that IVF is something gone ...

Miscarriage #3

Well here we are again. Each time different but somehow also the same. Different patterns of bleeding, different activities I'm doing when I start bleeding and know it's over. But the same sense of terror, panic and utter helplessness as ...

Bleeding again

I have started bleeding again. It began as light spotting this morning but seems to be increasing with cramping now. I think this is the end. Again.