The two week wait

Wow, it’s been hard.

When we first started IVF, our consultant told us the two week wait from embryo transfer to taking the pregnancy test would be the hardest part of the process. After our disappointment on egg collection day, I thought perhaps he was wrong. But boy how he wasn’t.

I took the fertility therapist’s advice and have kept busy for the two weeks, planning fun activities with Toby as well as space and time for myself. I think I’ve done quite well really. But the waiting is so hard, especially with all the cramps and twinges from the egg collection, and just living in the unknown, the grey area. A live embryo went in there. But was it still there at the end of each day, when we lay down in bed and prayed together, hands over my tummy, and pleaded with God to protect and grow our little embryo, and our hope?

Then things took a turn for the worse. Yesterday, Saturday 27th May, just 3 days before our pregnancy test, I started to bleed and get severe cramps. At first it was just spotting, but I was in quite a lot of pain. We went to Cheddar Gorge for the day to stay busy. And we actually had a beautiful family day together despite our worries and worst fears, and frequent tears from me.

But this morning I woke up to a heavier flow of blood, the cramps are still very painful, and my hope is almost gone.

The literature they gave us at the clinic tells us that bleeding is very common. In fact, a nurse told us it was more common than not, and frequently she had received calls from women convinced they were on their period, only to find out they were pregnant. It also says that if bleeding starts before test day, continue with medication and take the test on test day as planned. So that’s what we’re going to do.

But the cramps are so painful, and the flow quite progressed now, I’m not holding out much hope for Tuesday.

John is being amazingly supportive, and we are both feeling very sad. We have some decisions to make about what happens next, but that’s for another post.

In the meantime, please hold us in your prayers.

Thank you x

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