Positive…and Negative

We did the test today. At 5am I peed into a pot and we started with the Clearblue test, the fancy one that not only tells you if you’re pregnant but how far along it estimates you are based on hormone levels.

“Pregnant 1-2 weeks”

Humph. I was immediately wary – I thought it should be 2-3 weeks at least, as its been two weeks since a day 5 blastocyst was transferred. So we did the second test – the one given to us by the clinic. This is a little stick that shows two blue lines if pregnant and one if not.

One blue line.


So am I pregnant or not? We still do not know. I called the clinic and they advised to continue with the fertility drugs and retest on Monday.

I am of the opinion that perhaps the embryo embedded and I got some hormone in my pee because of it, but for whatever reason it’s stopped producing hormone now (perhaps it’s detached already or just died), and what the more sensitive test picked up on was the remnants of hormone in my pee. It can take a couple of weeks before it’s gone from my system entirely.

But, I still haven’t bled yet, and although the test was performed on the first urine of the day, it was only 3 hours since I last peed (due to my mouse bladder), which the clinic said might mean it just wasn’t concentrated enough to register the hormones. The nurse I spoke to also said she didn’t hold much sway with the week indicators on those swanky tests, as some embryos need a while to catch up and produce lots of hormones and others produce lots straight off the bat.

So now we are back to yesterday. Back to waiting.

I feel angry. With the situation, with the absurdity. And probably (fair warning) with anyone who tries to inspire hope and faith in me. There is no certainty. Just waiting.


So if anything happens over the weekend I’ll update on here, and will post again on Monday.



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